time after time

day two in the office and i can't help but think i should be doing something other than reading....
so i take a break and surf the web for spiritual gift inventories and other fun stuff to use with the congregation...and then back to reading: old newsletters, the constitution, taking the random break to quiz myself on names in the picture directory. it's so weird.
6 months is an absolutely awkward time to spend in a congregation. as we sit and plan out the year....i will only be here for some of it. how can i help support different programs without involving myself so much that i will be a gap to fill when I leave? it is a strange feeling to just be here planning for what comes after me.
oh that was terrible - i know it's not all about me. well, maybe it is just a little bit about me. there's a part of me that is investing interest in being involved in the activities in this place. not to mention all this involvement is key in building relationships and an important aspect of ministry.
maybe the struggle for me arises in the desire to be a longer term presence within the context of a congregation. friends and loved ones are beginning ministries where the end cannot be seen. mine, on the other hand, is pretty clear. the congregation had a chuckle when i told them that month 7 on internship is when things started feeling comfortable...month 7 here, is one month too late. how can you speed up that process? i'm not so certain how possible it is. building relationships take time. getting to know one another takes time....and time, it seems is the one thing this match is lacking.
i definitely underestimated my 'nesting' instinct. (no babies here!) but nesting in a congregational setting, being a part of members lives for more than just a year.
don't get me wrong, this experience will be invaluable. as joe said, 'you'll probably be the most experienced first call pastor, ever!' true story. it's just hard waiting.
i suppose i should continue reading...
+paz

soil-icious

well, the hole in the ground is now a flat smear of dirt.

And up until today I couldn't have told you why it smeared so nicely. but after spending an hour chiseling away at this clay soil, i understand its appearance. armed only with a hand spade i tackled an area of lawn by the shed which is now home to 7 iris (irises? iri? 7 iris plants.)



This has been the year of the earth. no, not the summer of george, but the year of the earth.

i've always wanted to get into gardening. now that i have the space for a garden of my own i long for the days when mom would want me to help in the garden and i would shrug and try to help without stepping on anything. and now i face the task of creating my own. creating, there's an interesting way to think about it. creation, that's what i thought about as my hands worked through the soil, breaking up lumps, almost massaging it to become a workable substance, a substance that would support and cultivate plant life.

Over the past weeks I have fallen in love (again) with the sweetness of a garden fresh cuke, the juiciness of a ripe tomato and the crunchy sweetness of fresh corn. I've decided that all my lunches from here on out will be salads. cucumber salad, tebuleh salad, bean salad...all things fresh and wonderful.

I yearn to work and cultivate a space that will bring some veggies in the house from the backyard. What is this strange connection to nature? to earth? to the humus/earth/soil from where our existance began? It's a break from over produced easy microwavable/drive-thru meals and a pause to see life around us. to live in the freshness that surrounds us... to breathe, to eat and to be in God's amazing creation.

+paz